Tuesday, February 2, 2010




Well, my life right now is filled with a preschooler, toddler, and a baby. I'm just starting a bible study called "Freedom for Mothers" by Denise Glenn. So super good. It's exactly what I need. It's taken from John 15, where Jesus talks about him being the vine and we are the branches. I've come to admit over these last 5 years of motherhood, that I'm not very good at it. Now, I'm not having a pity party. I truly mean that I am not good at being a mom. Meaning, it's hard work and I fail daily. In my life I had been pretty good at most things. How do I say that without seeming arrogant? What I mean is, most things (before motherhood), came easy for me and I took on life pretty easy and laid back. But, motherhood????? Wow! When I had J, life turned upside down for me and it has continued to do that. Having 3 now is a whirl wind. But through it all, it has made me realize that I NEED Jesus. I am not good at this and it's a GOOD thing. I can't do this raising kids thing on my own. Not in any strength of mine for that matter!!! My love bucket needs to be filled with Jesus because I can't TRULY love unconditionally without him.

I share all this while battling through the decision of school for J in the fall. Up until this past year I thought it was a "no brainer" that he would be going to public school, five days a week. But the Lord has brought me through a process over the years of giving MY desires and wants over to him in that area. For those of you who have known me for a long time, I've never thought of myself as a homeschool mom. I can't even believe that I've just typed that word! But as we are raising kids, I am more and more challenged and amazed at what sponges they are! I'm also searching/asking God what my child needs right now. J is a pretty emotionally driven little guy. He has lots of energy and I'm constantly reminded how much he soaks in, listens to, etc. We are praying and seeking to see what this next journey of school will look like. It could change from year to year! I'm visiting schools to see what doors the Lord opens and closes. We'll see! Thanks for listening...whoever you are! :0)

1 comment:

Gina said...

Wow. Lots on your mind. I KNOW one thing for sure...... you are most certainly supposed to move back to MD......just saying. Hope that helps.